This is Sonnet 136. I’m sure I’ve SOSed it before, but it is time to bring it out again. I have always treasured this snicker-inducing sonnet as proof of Shakespeare’s susceptibility to the same stuff to which the rest of us are susceptible. May you have an absurd Monday.
If thy soul check thee that I come so near,
Swear to thy blind soul that I was thy Will,
And will, thy soul knows, is admitted there;
Thus far for love, my love-suit, sweet, fulfil.
Will, will fulfil the treasure of thy love,
Ay, fill it full with wills, and my will one.
In things of great receipt with ease we prove
Among a number one is reckoned none:
Then in the number let me pass untold,
Though in thy store’s account I one must be;
For nothing hold me, so it please thee hold
That nothing me, a something sweet to thee:
Make but my name thy love, and love that still,
And then thou lovest me for my name is ‘Will.’