D: Can you confirm my benefits for Provider X?
Person: You have to call Line #1 first –
D: I already talked to them.
Person: Then you have to call Line #2-
D: Already did that too.
Person: Is this an out-of-state provider?
D: Already called Line #3 as well. They transferred me to you.
Person: Uh…you really did your homework.
D: Yep. So can you confirm my benefits?
Person: Yes. Let me just verify ten pieces of your personal information and place you back on hold for another twenty minutes.
D: Sounds great.

And I actually have really good insurance. As awful as this is, it’s nothing compared to what I went through with a certain nameless California insurer once.